Sunday, December 2, 2012

31 Days of 'Elf Care, Tip #2: 10 Ways to Say NO

 "I don't know the key to success, but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody" - Bill Cosby.

We appreciate that saying NO can be difficult when you're a  busy 'Elf.    For many caring people, saying NO can also feel downright bad sometimes- it can make you feel guilty, or selfish, or just very uncomfortable.

However......Managing YOUR time IS very good 'Elf Care.  

The more YOU respect YOUR time as valuable,  and begin to set limits with others where YOUR time is concerned by saying NO to those things that you don't want to do...or shouldn't do...or wouldn't do if you didn't have to...etc..., the easier managing YOUR time- and saying NO- gets.  You might find that others become more respectful of YOUR time too.  

Today's 'Elf Care tip is 10 Ways to Say NO.   Practice saying each of these phrases a couple of times - choose one or two that work for you- and before long you will find them spilling from your lips (at the right times) almost effortlessly!   

10 Ways to Say "NO":

1) "No"
2) "No, Thank you. No."
3) "No.  I can't this year.  No."
4) "No. Thanks for thinking of me, but I already have plans. No."
5) "No. I would love to, but I just don't have time. No."
6) "No, I don't want to do that. No."
7) "No. Sorry, I promised _________, I would ________instead. No."
8) "No, doing ______always makes me feel bad/sad/tired/overwhelmed. No."
9) "No. Our family has decided to focus on being home spending time together this holiday. No."
10) "No. That doesn't work for me. No."

A few important notes:

--Notice how each of these statements begins and ends with one little word: NO.  I put it in both spots to emphasize and reinforce the message (and people usually remember the first and last things they hear!). Say it firmly.  If someone persists (RUDE!),  Look them straight in the eye and say NO again and excuse yourself.

--Something to consider:  Saying NO is adequate on its don't have to provide an excuse.   I have provided a few example with justification because I read somewhere that people are more likely to listen and understand (and let it go) if you follow your NO with a reason....and any old reason- in a concise format of one sentence- will do.  

If you feel guilty, know that the more you say this little word and aren't struck by lightning...and actually take control of YOUR time, so YOU can do other important stuff  BETTER...the easier saying NO gets.

Take Good Care-
 'Elf Care Girl

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