Stress-Busting

“Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.” -Natalie Goldberg

I have had to call upon my self care powers several times this week and it is only Tuesday.  

Yesterday - despite my best efforts to deal effectively with "the day of the moon" - was, indeed, so very Monday-like.

Keep in mind that if I truely possessed extraordinary self care abilities, I would probably not be so interested in this self care exploration.    Quite simply, sometimes self care does not come easy.   Sometimes things happen and you get yourself wound tight as a top before you realize that maybe this moment would be a good time to employ some self care.  

I think the boy scouts may have been on to something valuable when they adopted the motto "be prepared".  Lets face it (hate to be the bearer of bad news...) you are going to have times in the future where stress overwhelms you.  (messenger here- don't shoot)    You may be surprised to learn that you can plan for those nerve rattling events in advance.  

25 Stress Busters:

1. Take a walk
2. Take a hot bubble bath
3. Light candles, sit and breathe
4. Chop vegetables 
5. Call a friend and talk it out
6. Have sex (releasing those endorphins is great for stress)
7. Write it down
8. Play some soft music
9. Watch your favorite movie
10. Do yoga
11. Get a massage, pedicure, manicure...spa day!
12. Eat Ice Cream  
13. Clean house  (this works for my friend Melinda K)
14. Get someone to rub the back of your neck gently for 15 - 20 minutes (I read a great article on this in Whole Living a while back- interesting, this lowers blood pressure for women, but isn't so effective in that regard for men)
15. Exercise
16. Engage in a hobby
17. Check out the Self Care blog  (shameless plug, I know)
18. Buy yourself flowers
19. Take a mental health day
20. Buy some chocolat (don't forget the bow)
21. Take a nap
22. Have a cup of herbal tea
23. Ask for what you need
24. Hug a furry friend
25. Pray

Please let me know if you have any other great stress busters to share.   (I feel better after just writing them down.)

3 Ways to Simplify Your Life Immediately

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” –Hans Hofmann

In honor of National “Simplify Your Life” Week…here is a simple list of 3 things you can do immediately to start simplifying your life…

1) Say NO. Your time is valuable! Spend it in ways that will bring you the biggest return on your investment. The best way to determine what those things are is to make a list of the 3 things that matter most to you. (Make sure that one of those “things” on the list is YOU.) When making commitments check your list. Does the commitment enhance the existence of something on your list? If the answer is NO- say “NO.” You do not need to make an excuse, but if you feel you must say something, a simple “No, Sorry – I am already committed” will do.

2) Count Your Blessings. The best way to forget about what you don’t have is to acknowledge what you do have. When you look at what is important, and sprinkle in some gratitude, you find that what you have right now really is enough. Cherish those things.

3) Make Some Space. Take 15 minutes and organize a drawer, clean out a cupboard, clear your inbox, empty your purse, or define a corner as your personal space. Stuff adds a lot of unnecessary stress to our lives. Always ask yourself before adding more stuff: Is this something I want or need? If you absolutely must add to your stuff – make it a habit to remove something from your space that you don’t need anymore.

Take Good Care!

Empty Nests

“There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: One is roots, the other is wings.” Hodding Carter

I spent the weekend cleaning out my son's room.   It took while for me to get around to this.   Jake moved out over a year ago.   I didn't realize until I was in the midst of sorting that perhaps my procrastination had subconscious roots.  This task-that on its surface seems so simple- is rife with emotional significance.

I am sifting through the belongings that he didn't feel he needed anymore.  I have a pile of stuff to keep that might come in handy for grandkids someday.   I have a pile for charity.  I have a few boxes of belongings that I think he may have forgotten.   He told me not to worry about this, but I cannot help it.  I am a mom!

The past year has been all about letting go.  I have let go of my expectations for what he should do with his life.  (I have not let go of my hope that he will return to college someday!)  Cleaning out his room is just one more step along this journey.   These things- while sentimental- are really just things.  What is real and important will be retained even after we let them go.

Surround Yourself With Positive, Happy People.

“The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond the wildest dreams. We would have more than one Einstein, Edison, Schweitzer, Mother Theresa, Dr. Salk and other great minds in a century.” – Sydney Madwed.

I encountered a little negativity this week when discussing my adventures in Self Care...
To my face:

“Not to be negative….” She began, and I braced myself for what followed, (which would no doubt be very negative) “but, why would anyone listen to you on the subject of Self Care?” (OUCH!)

Behind my back (paraphrased of course):

“Is she suddenly an expert on self care or something?” she asked snidely, “or is this just her current interest, so she feels she has to tell everyone about it”

Hmmm…Do I really feel the need to justify, explain or defend myself here? Not really. I believe in what I am doing, and-really- the amount of positive feedback I have received far outweighs the two negative ones.

Some people are mean. Some people are negative and insecure and a little sad. It doesn’t matter if you are attempting to do solve world hunger or save a few dollars on your grocery bill each week by clipping coupons – everyone has an opinion and invariably those bitter people who have nothing good to say about anything will feel the need to comment.

Fortunately, (or unfortunately, for them) neither of these people know me very well. I have kept them at a distance for reasons that are probably very apparent to you now. When I heard these comments I was initially hurt…I went for a walk….and I put it into the right perspective.

“I am not an expert on self care,” I had told the first critic, “I am learning and I am actually quite average at it…. So, while 50% of women know more than I do, certainly the 50% who don’t know as much can learn along with me, don’t you think?”

I did not address the second person, but I had asked her to lend her talents to my project and I don’t think I need her help anymore.

If you are one of these people: Please recognize that you are not adding anything positive to the world by being negative. Time to look within! What is going on inside that you can’t encourage others to be the best that they can be?

If you have one of these people in your life: Distance yourself. You get to choose who you let into your circle. Choose the positive, happy, loving people who believe in you and you will accomplish amazing things.

Surrounding yourself with positive people is just good self care.

Take Good Care!

Something Tells Me This Is Not My Dream Job

“Life is a sum of all your choices.” - Albert Camus

This just has wrong written all over it!

A Recipe for Great Skin

“What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful that the garment with which it is clothed?” - Michelangelo

I am not sure what it is about this little cocktail that makes my skin feel so fabulous, but I can promise you that you will notice an amazing difference in the the softness of your skin after trying this drink for just a day or two.  

The recipe is for a cranberry "fat flush" cocktail created by Anne Louise Gittleman.   It is high in fiber and a wonderful antioxidant for your liver and lymph system.  I encourage you to try 8oz in the morning when you get up and again before you go to sleep.    

It really is a very "spa-like" drink.   If you sit quietly for 15 minutes while you sip it, you can imagine you are actually at the day spa doing something very good for yourself.

Cranberry Fat Flush Cocktail

Ingredients:

• Unsweetened 100% Cranberry Juice (Knudsen's is my favorite)
• 1 tsp psyllium husk powder (I get this from health food section at Fred Meyer- I believe GNC has it as well) 
• Filtered Water
• Straw for sipping.

Directions:

• Put tsp of psyllium husk powder in small juice glass
• Add just enough cranberry juice to cover bottom of glass (about 3 TBSP)
• Fill the remaining 8oz glass with water (this is about a 1 cup serving)
• Stir well and give it a few minutes to set up before sipping through the straw.  

I personally cannot tolerate the bitterness of this drink if it is too thin.  If you wait for a few minutes, the psyllium will thicken the liquid a bit and it seems to take a bit of the bitterness out too.  

Do not add sugar and be sure that your cranberry juice is only cranberries and does not contain added sweetners or juices.   If the taste is too bitter for you, or you don't like the texture- adjust the water to cranberry juice ratio to taste and drink it immediately after mixing.

Try it and let me know what you think!

Sweet Dreams!

“You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'” - George Bernard Shaw

We are definately not the first to visit Kauai and spend our time on the beach scheming about how we could transplant ourselves here permanently.   

Mr Self Care surprised me at the beach yesterday with a stack of real estate brochures, "there you go," he said, "find us someplace to live". 

It appears that Kauai was not spared the real estate downturn.  There were many short sales and bank REOs available.   I think there may not be anything more sad than to realize your dream of moving to the island and then to have it taken from you.

We have spoken to many people who live here and we have heard repeatedly that it is so expensive to live here.   More than one has told us that they work three part time jobs.   I am, first, inspired by them- to fulfill their dream of staying here at all costs -and then I wonder about their quality of life:  How much leisure time can they possibly have when they need to work three jobs to stay here?

Often since we arrived, we have heard different hotel staff rave about their morning surfing or kayaking excursion.   More than one has conveyed their plans for hitting the beach and some waves after their shift.   We have not met a single resident here, who was not friendly and upbeat - in fact, the Kauai transplants all seem to have a glazed over, dreamy quality to them.   (or maybe we have all had too much sun?)

Dreaming is a condition that we can presume is unique to being human.   We all have dreams, we just don't all follow them.   We have fears, too, of the unknown, of failing....and responsibilities: children, parents, people who count on us, jobs, established homes, paths we have already found ourselves on...there are many things to stop us from taking a risk and following our passions and feeding our souls.

I do not want to be in the catagory of those who dream big, but don't act.

10 steps toward  following one's dreams:

1. Dream big, colorful, impossible dreams!
2. Write it down.   People who write down their goals and dreams are much more likely to realize them!
3. Put together a plan.   Mr Self Care and I have 1, 2, 5 and 10 year plans.   These are not written in stone-we commit to making the plan happen as best as we can, but understand that life throws curves and we sometimes change our minds about the details and what is important (that is okay!)
4. Act.   Sometimes this means sacrificing and delaying gratification.  Eye on the goal!  Feet on the ground-moving toward it!
5. Have an exit strategy.   This is the best way to deal with your fears.   A Plan B and an answer to "what is the worst thing that can happen?" can allay your worst nightmares.  You may even find that the worst thing that can happen is to not try at all!
6. Show gratitude for what you have. 
7. Encourage others to dream big too.   Then show them how it is done.
8. Take time to reflect and appreciate your accomplishments.   We have all heard that success is a journey and not a destination.  I do not completely agree.   Give yourself time to fully absorb your accomplishment before jumping into the next dream pursuit.   This can be more difficult than you think- once you get on a role of making things happen in your life it is difficult to pause!
9. If you fail - and you may do this several times along the way:  Regroup and begin again. 
10. Do not let anyone tell you that your dreams are unrealistic.   All dreams become real when you act on them.  Use their negativity to fuel your resolve.  These naysayers need just examples set for them.  It is up to you to change thier mind!

 Sweet Dreams!

A Little Spring In Your Step...

"What a wonderful beautiful thing, to wiggle your toes." ~ Dalton Trumbo

I had my third pedicure of the season over the weekend...a little Mother's Day treat for my toes!  I confess that this is starting to become a bit of an addiction for me.   There is just something fabulous about being treated (or treating yourself) to pretty toes.

There is a salon down the street from my home that has the massage chairs with those whirlpool pedi pools.    For $20 I got a full foot massage, complete toe to heel tune up and clean up and a shiny plum colored paint job.   Such a bargain!  The whole process took just less than an hour, but the spring it put in my step will linger for weeks! 

If you haven't had a pedicure before, I encourage you to try it- Pedicures are extremely good self-care! You can pick out a color that makes you happy and when they are done with your ten toe makeover,  you will just feel pretty and ready for some flip flops.

If you are not new to pedicures, but haven't indulged yourself yet this year:  What are you waiting for?   Sandal season is upon us, Ladies!  

Reasons for getting a Pedicure:

1. You just have to take care of your feet!  You rely upon feet to get you around, it is important to keep them healthy.  Pedicures are essential for good foot health.
2. Summer.
3. A million colors of polish with the most creative names are waiting to be sifted through- someone went to all that trouble to identify the shades- the least you can do is put them to good use!
4. Sandals, flip flops, or just walking around barefoot...pretty toes can make any outfit fancier.
5. You deserve it.
6. It is affordable.
7. It is a great excuse to get the girl's together for an outing.
8. It will make you happy
9. It helps the economy
10. Its just plain old good self care!

I implore you to make your appointment today!   Grab a friend and encourage her to do a little self care too!

Hugging a Farmer is Good Self Care...

The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses. ~Hanna Rion

I was raised most of my life on a farm.   We always had large vegetable gardens and orchards and livestock and an abundance of good, wholesome foods.   When you grow up on a farm you learn to appreciate hard work and simple pleasures.  The smell of fresh picked tomatoes signals summertime to me and all produce just tastes better when you pick it straight from the tree or vine or stalk.

With May upon us, we will soon find ourselves in summer weather.  I encourage you to support your local farmers by joining a CSA this season, or by attending your local farmer's market each week.   The food is more fresh, much better for you, and so much better tasting when purchased from a farm or farmer's market.  You might be surprised to find that the produce is cheaper than your local supermarket too!  Farmer's markets are great places to show appreciation for simple, healthy food and convey gratitude to the small, sustainable farmers who lovingly share their bounty with you.    That is very good self care!

Cultivating your own little pea patch can be quite good for your soul as well.  Digging in the dirt is meditative and, surprisingly, good exercise.  There are few things more satisfying than planting a little garden and patiently watching it grow- especially when you are rewarded with a handful of juicy strawberries, or a bowl of crisp green beans or cucumbers for your efforts.  

Be sure to let me know what you grow!