Snowflakes

Man...is always an individual, a unique entity, different from everybody else. He differs by his particular blending of character, temperament, talents, disposition, just as he differs at his fingertips. He can affirm his human potentialities only by realizing his individuality. The duty to be alive is the same as the duty to become oneself, to develop into the individual one potentially is.

-Erich Fromm

This is just a quick post to remind you how unique and incredible you are.   Take a moment and think about all of the things that make you different and exceptional.   Embrace these things.  There is no one else exactly like you!

***The pictures above are pretty cool -these are real life microscopic pictures of snowflakes...each unique and amazing.

(And...My sincere apologies to any of you out there who are ready for Spring but keep getting snow- I am sure that these magnified snowflakes are the absolute last thing you want to see right now!  Spring WILL get here, I promise!)

One Thing At A Time

Multi-tasking: Screwing everything up simultaneously.  -unknown

Multi-tasking is actually something most women do very well.   If you think about the roles and capabilities of  women- especially mothers- the ability to multi-task is an amazing and essential gift.  

The technology age is built upon our society's need for efficiency in everything.  Technology allows us to increase our capability and our speed to get things done. 

Those who are effective at delivering results in a fast and flawless manner are highly revered.  So it is no surprise that many of us live, breath, and cannot function without our I-phones, text messaging, and facebook.    In theory, technology should actually create more quality time in our lives, but the reality is we don't unplug when the work is done and many of us allow our quality time to be encroached upon by technology more today than it ever has been before.  

The purpose of this post is just to increase mindfulness on this topic.  

There is real value in becoming focused on a singular task at hand- seeing it through from start to perfect completion.

There is real value in unplugging ourselves from machines regularly and completely (at least once a day, maybe even a full day each week and especially when on vacation).  Just imagine the difference in your life,  if you could capture that plugged in time and lavish it instead on another human being in your life... or luxuriously spend some undivided attention on yourself. 

Your full attention is a greater gift, than your ability to multi-task. 

Just my thoughts!

  

The Care and Feeding of Dreams

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil. - James Allen

Dreams.

Everybody has them: A vision for what the future could look like. We hope better, more positive- or just different-things will enter into our lives. We see ourselves doing different work, being surrounded by different priorities, living in different scenarios.


Few dreams just happen. Chance and Luck are relevant, but not necessary required. Most dreams take focus, hard work and persistence to come true. This explains why some people are very good at turning their dreams into reality. They recognize what is required and then set to work to make their dreams come true.

When a dream enters your life, how do you nurture it into fruition?


How to Care and Feed your Dreams:


1) Set aside time each day to just think about all the possibilities. I think well when I walk. You may find that you come up with your best ideas when you write, or do something artsy. Keeping a dream or idea journal is a great idea. Dreams and goals that are written down are more likely to be realized.

2) Dream big, dream small…Big dreams may take more effort and time, but achieving little dreams provides immediate gratification which may lend themselves well to bolstering your self esteem and setting some momentum for the tackling the larger dreams.

3) Believe you can do anything you set your mind to. You can!

4) Start. Even if you think you don’t have enough information. Even if you don’t really know what to do first. People become experts in their field by experiencing uncertainty and finding a way. You don’t have to do things like everyone else…You just have to find out what works for you! As you begin, the right direction will become clearer to you.

5) Tell others what you are doing and accept their offers to help out. Often times someone you know knows someone who can help you or has the information you need to get to the next step. Believe that the universe will provide everything you need to know. Then watch for signs!

6) If you fail, try again. View failure as information and not as a set back. You may learn 100 ways not to do things while you are sorting out the right ways.

7) Show gratitude along the way to those who help, for what is working, for what you have learned and for what you currently have.

8) Surround yourself with positive, happy, encouraging people and be that person to others! Our lives are too short to let negative, sad people stand in our way.

9) Read what others have done to make their dreams come true. Research relevant topics well so you can take calculated risks when decisions are required.

10) Celebrate your successes big and small!

Needs versus Wants

“You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need” - The Rolling Stones

I had a great conversation with a native Hawaiian today.   Maya works at the hotel and was born on Oahu.  We talked about the best and worst parts of living in Hawaii.   She cited the cost of living as being one of the biggest challenges facing most Hawaiians.   This is something we hear daily in our conversations with the locals.

Maya added a little thought-provoking gem, though; something that I think we all know, but sometimes need to be reminded of : your quality of life on the islands (or anywhere) depends on what you value, and people can have very different ideas about what they need versus what they want.

According to Maya, you only really need a shelter, a few clothes, food and gas to get around.  The car you drive and the clothes you wear don't need to be fancy in Hawaii.   If you focus on what you need - life in Hawaii is not so unaffordable.  The beaches are free, the sunshine is plentiful, the ocean is cheap therapy.

I think that philosophy is one we can easily carry home with us.   Many times Mr Self Care and I do ask ourselves if something is a "want" or a "need", but sometimes we just procure stuff without considering which catagory it falls under.   We live in a society that makes it very easy to get everything that we want immediately.   American Express or Master Card it....90 days interest free and no payments...we will take one of these and one of those too!    

The satisfaction that buying provides is short lived though.  Just time yourself next time you buy something that you absolutely felt you must have!  How long before the excitement of your purchase wears off?  It probably depends on a number of variables:  the item, and how much you spent, how often you use it, how long you waited for it, nostalgia- but invariably no thing you purchase maintains its "awe" factor forever. 

I think this perspective is valuable.   Things clutter our lives and bog us down.  The more you have the harder it is to keep your house cleaned.  Things create stress....things take up valuable space....

So what can you do without?   If you were planning to move to a new life in the islands what would you take with you?   What would you leave behind?   

Destination: RELAXATION

“Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.”

On Saturday morning we are headed to Kauai for a week.  

This is timely, because I can hardly stand the thought of another day at work.  I don't know if it is just because a vacation is looming, or if I really do need to change my job soon, but I am pretty much done this week.

Certainly, we will be in a much better frame of mind for sorting out such things when we return.

Mr Self Care was eager to book up everything that we want to do, until I suggested that doing "absolutely nothing" might be a better plan for this trip.    He is very willing to accomodate this, and we will be spontaneous whenever the mood strikes.   Sometimes not planning everything is best.  

This trip I am only planning a few little things (in no particular order):

• a little pool time
• a little beach time
• a little sunshine
• a little drink with a little umbrella in it
• a little reading
• a little nap
• a little bit of pineapple

...And only a few big things:

• A lot of rest
• A lot of sunblock
• A lot of time alone with Mr S.C.

It is going to be heavenly!

Chocolate? Or CHOCOLAT?

Better is the enemy of Good - Voltaire



Earlier this week, my dear Mr Self Care dropped me off at the door of our local candy store, Sweet Indulgence, and instructed me,  "Get in..get out... one box, $20....Go! Go! Go!"   And Operation "Get the girl some chocolate right away" was launched.

If there is a better type of self care than stocking up on chocolates, I seriously do not know what it is.

Salt caramels, rocky road, coconut sticks, Turtles....well, it took no time at all to fill the box, even though my eyes were slightly glazed over and I might have been suppressing drool.

The owner of the shop- no doubt very accustomed to serving women who are in a chocolate frenzy -closed the box calmly and asked cheerfully, "now,  what color ribbon would you like?"

Ribbon?  "Won't the ribbon just impede my access?"  I asked, resisting the urge to grab the box from her and run out the door.   Seriously a $20 box of hand selected chocolates was good enough...I really didn't need a ribbon.

She responded wisely "oh, don't you know...a simple ribbon can turn a box of "chocolates" into... 'CHOCOLAT'!'"

....and with that she grabbed a brilliant pink ribbon and proceeded to expertly tie it into a fancy bow around my box of chocolate treasures.   She handed it to me with a "knowing" smile and sent me on my merry way.

It is true, that without a pretty pink ribbon tied securely around that box...I might not have made it home with all my chocolate in tact.   (And -truthfully, I don't know if  Mr Self Care would willingly drive me back to the chocolate shop for more chocolate after bringing me home from the chocolate shop to get chocolate.)   But that is not the point...

It is true, CHOCOLAT! just tastes 100x better than chocolate.

When I got home, I placed that ribbon tied box on my night stand.   There is something just sacred about it sitting there, so decadent, and sort of special.   Clearly this is not chocolate for devouring, it is CHOCOLAT! for savoring.   A single piece taken slowly...once (or twice) per day is heaven.

There is a wonderful lesson here that I thought would fit well in a Self Care Girl post:


It is good to add a little "pizzazz" to your life whereever you can.  My mother places her dish washing soap in a pretty decorative bottle next to her sink.     Light candles when you take a bubble bath.    Add a few drops of lavendar scent to your pillow when you go to bed at night.   A single fresh flower on the bathroom counter is a great way to say "good morning" to yourself each day.    Find something that you do each day and think of ways to do it fancier!

Sometimes self care is just as simple as adding a pink ribbon.